My name is a mystery and welcome to my blog. Here is a place I would like to express my thoughts, progress and desire to be thinner. I am not encouraging anyone to copy my behaviour and apolagise for any posts that you may find triggering.
The last time I logged onto this account was the 11th of June. Since then my weight has ballooned. I graduated from high school so had more time to eat, I went on holiday and was surrounded by beautiful Greek food and have spent the last four months of my life being lazy and unhealthy and the weight has crept up and up and up. It’s gotten to the point where I haven’t weighed myself since August. I’m too scared to see my weight. I’m too scared to see how much I have failed myself.
Today was a turning point. I undressed for a bath and caught sight of my body in the mirror. I remembered how I used to look (nearly two stone lighter) just a few months ago. I remembered how much happier I was. I’d felt confident, glamorous, free. Now I feel disgusting. I feel like a whale. I feel like I’m making people feel sick if I dare to wear something that shows off my skin. I feel like my arms are the size of my thighs and that my thighs are so fat and ugly and disgusting that I daren’t even look. I look fat in all the clothes I wear, I look fat in all the pictures that are taken of me, I look fat twenty four seven. I FEEL fat. I can feel it as I type this. I can feel how huge I am, I can feel my neck creasing when I look down, I can almost feel myself expanding in every direction. I need to change. This very second. I am changing. I am changing.